Some of you might remember my sister, Tori (Torruption), from one of my earlier posts. Tori has a lot of opinions, and occasionally, when I have that unsure, yet still mostly excited, feeling about something I’ve written, I will ask her to read it before I post it. Of course, the fact that I continually do this in hopes of getting a positive response, despite how it usually makes me feel, might indicate an unhealthy obsession with harsh criticism and, maybe, insanity. Nevertheless, today I decided to share a post with her in which I wrote about the concept of saving. Below is the conversation that ensued on g-chat after she read it.Tori: Do me a favor, write about something you absolutely love that doesn't have anything to do with you specifically.
Sent at 9:46 AM on Wednesday
Me: Do me a favor, and don't shoot it down when I do.
Tori: You know it’s naive so leave it alone.
Sent at 9:47 AM on Wednesday
Me: Yes, naive, but not everyone reading it has tunnel vision.
Tori: Of all the things that you would be ok with your writing being described as would you ever let it be naive?
Sent at 9:52 AM on Wednesday
Me: Yeah. I'm not so naive as to think my writing would be anything else at this point.
Sent at 9:53 AM on Wednesday
Tori: Please. Stop. Why does everything have to suck?
Me: Um. Did I say it sucked? I don't think being naive is entirely sucky. I think it's truthful, endearing, and will likely be comical at some point in the future.
Sent at 9:55 AM on Wednesday
Tori: No dude, that's just how you are these days. Stop doing that- it's like you’re on auto-suck where your automatic reaction and reasoning to everything is that you and everything you do just sucks. STOP! IT’S SO OBNOXIOUS! Don't willingly post something that you know makes you seem amateur and ignorant- it's really just that simple. Naive is only endearing when you're 12, not when your 25 talking about finances. Please, please, please for the love of god just write about something you like for once, no more self deprecation for a week alright, Sylvia Plath? Give it a rest. I want to read something that will make me laugh, and not at your expense for once.
Sent at 9:58 AM on Wednesday
Me: Ah, there it is. That wonderfully encouraging and always constructive feedback I've come to know and love.
I hope you never have children because they will die trying to live up to your impossible standards.
Tori: Well I'm glad that you aren't blowing this out of proportion and making it out to be something that it's not.
Me: Right, because that would be unreasonable.
Tori: Bringing up the ruined lives of my hypothetical children is not only relevant but totally constructive- bravo.
I'm trying to be honest with you - open your eyes.
Me: I’m just trying to spread the love.
Tori: Your blog is sinking because of this. Remember the dandelion post? Remember the Bear post? Bring me something original and light hearted- I have at least three more melancholic female literary references I can throw at you if not...
Just kidding- I can't read.
Me: Alright, Tori - back to you being the only audience that matters.
Tori: That was the most hurtful thing you've said to me on g-chat.
Me: Tell me you're kidding.
Tori: The serious joking is what makes it funny, dumbass - try to keep up!
Sent at 10:07 AM on Wednesday
Me: Right, lessons on how to be funny from the biggest bitch I know...where can I sign up?
Tori: You already have – ZING!
Okay, but really, making this about me isn't going to make that post any better so come off it…
Sent at 10:08 AM on Wednesday
Me: I just so happen to disagree with you.
Sent at 10:10 AM on Wednesday
Tori: I think you like fighting with me when you know something you write isn't very good because you know that whatever criticism you have to say about me is true and you just like being right about something.
Sent at 10:12 AM on Wednesday
Me: No, I thought that piece was good. I still think it's good. It might need a different context, and maybe a freshening of the jokes, but it's still good writing and concepting…that is, in my ever-humble opinion. But I appreciate your opinion, and I do plan to write more posts that have less to do with me…just to make you laugh.
Sent at 10:15 AM on Wednesday
Tori: Alright, let me read it again in a little bit.
Me: Yeah, I mean, I think you missed the point of the piece. It wasn't about finances.
Tori: So don’t talk about them.
Me: Um. You're not as smart as you say you are.
Tori: Neither are you- clearly
Me: Yes, clearly.
Sent at 10:21 AM on Wednesday
Tori: I gotta go run an errand. Sometimes I pretend like I'm a really cool investigative news reporter when I throw the bag you gave me over my shoulder.
Me: Okay. Have fun, News Reporter Barbie.
So now that my blog is apparently sinking under the weight of my self-deprecating words, I am going to try some new stuff over the next few weeks. Don’t worry, I’m not going go all perky-positive style on you and talk about smiles, sunshine and sparkles, but maybe I’ll try something like magic tricks—everyone loves a rabbit when it’s pulled out of a hat, right? In any case, I’ve started a list to help guide me.
Thing That Don’t Have To Do With Me [Sucking]:
1. Scrabble
2. Coasters
3. The Today Show
4. Throw Pillows
5. Pleather
And that’s as far as I’ve gotten with the list, but I’m confident (dare I say positive) that there is more to add.
Posts
Hm. Okay, how about this list:
ReplyDelete1.) Thank you for spell checking me
2.) You cleverly left out the "Rose" comment (golden girls reference) that was actually the most hurtful thing (sarcastically).
3.) This really only reiterates my point that making this post about me doesn't make it any better.
4.) You are a blue butt monkey.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh, whatever.
ReplyDelete1.) Your spelling is bad.
2.) "I'm right on top of that, Rose!" is not a Golden Girls reference- it's from "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead"
3.) You love the attention.
4.) If I'm a blue butt monkey, then you're this angry monkey: http://repairstemcell.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/angry-monkey-7399791.jpg
Tori sounds remarkably like the internal writing critic I have, only funnier and with a lot more spunk. How refreshing, and a little terrifying, to find that in a real-live person! Honesty's rare (especially from family).
ReplyDeleteYou're much more interesting, even when self-deprecating (or perhaps that increases your relatability) than Scrabble and throw pillows, though, so I hope the diversions don't stray too far from you!
I would be interested in hearing you talk about different experiences and media that you come into contact with. As a Creative Director who reads your blog regularly I know you can write with passion, humor and irreverance but I'd like to know more about how you interperet things and their relevance to you beyond your suckiness.
ReplyDeleteAnd the Today Show is totally sucky. For what it is it's the best out there, but as a concept it sucks—watch the real news or don't watch it at all.
Not to be irrelevant here, but I have to disagree with Jeremy. The Today Show is pure, even if accidental, genius. I've cried laughing at highlights of this show more than once.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, Tori has a point. The dandelion post was a fresh and inspiring read. While you shouldn't neglect your true talent of self-deprecation, you're more than a one-trick pony. Who uses cliches, like me. (See? I know from where this talent comes.)
I agree with Erin, although I don't write.
ReplyDelete